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From YIPA Members about some of Their Kids*
*Some names have been changed
From YIPA member, Central Center for Family Resources:
An example of a student who participated in our program a couple years ago follows:
C was an 18 year old African American male. At age 8 he immigrated with his uncle to the US as a refugee. His father was killed in the war and his mother refused to leave her younger children. He lived in the US with his uncle and aunt and their two small children. The last two years of high school were very turbulent. Uncle and Aunt fought a lot and Uncle moved out of the home several times. Aunt had a baby and C was pressured to quit sports and find a job to help support the family. C was a star athlete who was in high school basketball, track and soccer. C had several fights with Uncle because Uncle was abandoning the family and not caring for the baby in the evening when Aunt went to work. Uncle refused to take care of the baby. C was very angry and confused. He saw the school group facilitator individually and in peer support groups on a regular basis. Through the help of the peer support program which also coordinated services with his teachers and coaches, he stayed in sports, became the first African American Homecoming King at this school and graduated from high school. He received a scholarship to attend college on the West Coast and is studying there now, hoping to eventually have a career in counseling and helping others.
From YIPA member, Ely Community Resources:
"I've been coming to ECR (Ely Community Resource) since I was eight. I'm graduating this spring. I've been involved in lots of ECR activities like mentoring, tutoring, support groups, and peer leadership. It didn't matter that my family is poor and that my dad bailed, leaving my mom to raise me and my sister and brothers. ECR accepted me and gave me opportunities no one else ever did. They make you learn in ways that keep kids interested about making healthy choices and how important an education is. That no matter where you come from or how hard the family stuff is, YOU matter, YOU have value, and YOU can make a difference. If you ask me what ECR means to me, I can tell you in one word - HOPE!"
* * * * *
Listen to the words of Mark when asked what Ely Community Resource means to him.
"ECR's a good place for me. The people at ECR accept me - they don't judge me. Don't get me wrong - if I behave bad they're on me. They teach us about being responsible and consequences and if we hurt someone, we have to make amends. But the thing that's been most important to me is that they're always there for me. If I make a mistake, they don't turn their backs on me like a lot of other people in my life did. They keep supporting me - helping me see a better way. My family's messed up - lots of drinking and fighting. It's been a tough life. ECR won't let me blame my behavior on my family. Hey, my parents are just making the same mistakes their parents made. But, it stops here with me - I'm not a victim. I'm making the changes to make my life better".
From YIPA member, YMCA of Metropolitan Minneapolis:
One of our youth began in YMCA programming in 1998 as a freshman in high school. Through the years he was able to participate in a wide variety of programming and build relationships with staff in all areas of the YMCA. Along the way he suffered many personal losses, including the death of his mother. However, due to relationships he has built, and the program opportunities he was a part of, he was able to keep his dreams in focus. He is now close to graduating college and is a staff here at the YMCA, giving back as a role model and as an inspiration to others that dreams are possible.
* * * * *
Emilio Vargas (fictional name) had just transferred to one of our local middle schools from South Minneapolis. At this new school he struggled to find where he fit in, thus resulting in frustration that led to many negative attitudes and behaviors regarding school, and life in general. He regularly refused to go to school in the morning and was habitually tardy and truant. When at school, he took his negative attitude to his classes where his teachers were quick to call him out on it. Emilio would often bark back obscenities and idle threats to the teachers whom he believed were belittling him in front of his new classmates. Needless to say, Emilio was having an especially hard time at school and was getting into a lot of trouble behaviorally, academically, and socially.
Out of school things weren't much better. Emilio often hung out with youth who were not the best influences. Gang affiliation and activity were his primary hobbies. He was often up to no good and finding himself hanging around the streets with no positive outlets. Emilio was regularly in fights, participating in destructive behavior, and was once shot at by a group of rival teenagers.
Emilio was referred to our SUCCESS after school program by our Truancy Coordinator and he began attending the program on a daily basis. SUCCESS became a safe and positive place for Emilio to be after school. This program became the "fertile soil" where Emilio was soon to begin growing leaps and bounds. He quickly began making friends and gaining positive relationships with the staff. Emilio was exposed to activities, games, and character development exercises that foster the YMCA's four core values (caring, respect, responsibility, and honesty). Emilio's attitude was quickly making a drastic change for the better.
While at the YMCA, Emilio was taken under the wing of one particular staff member from SUCCESS. The staff took much effort to help Emilio acquire the "tools" to succeed in both school and life. They discussed anger management, conflict resolution, appropriate frustration venting techniques, study skills, healthy lifestyle habits, positive attitude, exercise, goal setting and much, much more. This staff also visited Emilio once a week at school during lunch to check in with him regarding his school performance. They went over his grades, absences / tardies, and behavior from the past week. With a few "tools" and the knowledge that someone genuinely cared about him (and will hold him accountable), Emilio's attitude and actions improved greatly.
Emilio Vargas is a prime example of how much a positive after school program and caring staff can help improve the life of young youth. Since joining the SUCCESS program, Emilio has a newfound optimistic approach to life and is getting much more out of it. He is performing wonderfully in school, has loads of friends, is adored by all at the YMCA, participates in extra curricular activities after school, and is truly enjoying himself in all he does. Way to go Emilio! You are truly a remarkable young man!
* * * * *
Nola (age 18) were referred to POINT Northwest for Runaway and Homeless Youth by another youth worker within the YMCA after having been released from a correctional facility where she had served time for an offense she committed as a minor. Nola had recently given birth to a son and Nola's mother would not allow for her to return home due to the fact that she had turned 18 and now had a child of her own - this would change the Household Income Guideline through the county and could potentially result in a loss of the housing subsidy that her mother was receiving. Over the years, Nola's relationship with her mother had dwindled and Nola described a long struggle that revolved around her mother's "mental illness" and chemical dependency. Nola's father had never been part of the picture.
So, needless to say, Nola found herself homeless, with an infant, for many months and struggling to find anyone who was willing to rent any type of housing to her. She "couch hopped" while working a full time job, searching for housing, and taking care of her son (all without a vehicle and having to take the city bus), but continued on. She heard repeatedly from property managers that even though she had a job, and had been employed with them for quite some time, her income just was not sufficient enough in their eyes and she'd have to look elsewhere.
POINT Northwest began working with Nola and her case worker at a time when Nola had, pretty much, exhausted all options. But due to strong persistence on Nola's part, and with the help of the supportive services within our program, POINT Northwest was able to secure housing for Nola and her son.
Nola and Kyle now live in a one bedroom apartment together (via a scholarship through POINT Northwest's Transitional Living Program) and Nola continues to work and attend school. She aspires to pursue college eventually and has a goal of becoming a Correctional Officer someday.
* * * * *
Ben P. joined one of my after school groups 4 years ago. He lived in one of the most impoverished areas in town. over 90% of the kids in his neighborhood were on the free/reduced lunch program, and most of them went home to empty houses at the end of the school day. Ben was very quiet, very shy, but as was able to make some friends. Unfortunately, many of these friends were older kids who made poor choices and influenced or dared Ben to do the same.
Ben's mom knew that, at least while he was in our program, Ben would be safe, get his school work done, and keep out of trouble. At the end of the school year, with the help of his county case manager and school counselor, I got Ben to enroll in our mini-bike program (NYPUM). This enable me to keep in contact with Ben and his family throughout the summer, set up goals to help him maintain positive behaviors at home, develop new friends, and grow a sense of self-respect and accountability. Most importantly, Ben developed the skills necessary to overcome the negative peer pressure that he faced with the older kids in his neighborhood.
Over the years, Ben has floated in and out of the YMCA's programs on an as-needed basis. He knew that if he was having troubles at home, struggling at school, or just having a difficult time he could count on the YMCA for the guidance he needed to get back on track.
Ben's younger sister faced many of the same issues that Ben did. Instead of being disruptive in class, Emily would take her frustration out on the younger kids on her bus or physically on herself. When their mother realized that this wasn't just a phase, she contacted me and we got Emily enrolled in counseling groups. As an incentive to finish the school year, Emily also participated in the mini-bike program over the summer. So far this school year, Emily's physically violent incidences towards others have become non-existent.
Ben, Emily, and their mom are all grateful for the programs and opportunities afforded to them through the help of YIP.
From YIPA member, Bolder Options:
I am so proud to be in a mentoring relationship with Jamey through Bolder Options. Over the past 12 months I have observed her changing from an older kid into a mature, thoughtful young woman. I liked Jamey from the moment I met her though it's difficult to describe why. She made eye contact with me; she was friendly but cautious, perhaps even skeptical in a healthy sort of way. She asked excellent questions and quietly, firmly told me she hated biking. When I enthusiastically announced my plan to do 3 thirty-mile bicycle rides with her, she seemed less than thrilled. Over the next few months, we did several training rides of 10-18 miles and 3 thirty-mile rides. We had fun each and every time, though I am quite sure she will tell you she still hates biking. It was during these long rides with Jamey that I realized what a strong, determined person she is. Although she complained mightily at the start of each long (and sometimes short!) hill, she rode up every one. She never told me she couldn't, that she didn't want to, that she shouldn't have to. She never said she liked it, but she rode every mile and she was always pleasant to be with. The obvious pride she took in completing these events made me realize that Jamey had the spirit within her to achieve anything she wanted.
This fall, as our biking season drew to a close, we began to focus on school. At the beginning of the school year, Jamey's grades and particularly her attendance were well below not only what she was capable of, but what was required to finish the year. In fits and starts, with a couple of steps forward and one or two back, she has come a long way to turn that around. Her grades and her change in attitude as well as attendance have earned her admission into the "A School " at Armstrong, an academic program designed to assist students in making up credits towards graduation. Jamey sought out the information on how to apply and get into A School in order to ensure that she finishes high school.
This spring Jamey joined the track team. She is an important member of a school athletic team, valued for what she brings to the group which includes her fast legs! I am certain, despite the nervousness she feels as she lines up for the 100 yard sprint at every meet, that she has confidence in herself because of the many tests she has faced and overcome this past year. She is beginning to see what I saw 10 months ago -- that she is strong, determined and capable.
I think we are both a little sad at the thought of our official relationship ending this August, though I believe our relationship will continue to evolve. I have a great deal of admiration and respect for her and the choices she has made. She knows now that she can achieve anything she sets her mind to and that is a powerful force.
From YIPA member, Neighborhood Youth Services-Woodland Hills:
From former youth services Donny: I am presently a student at Lake Superior College studying graphic design, but my life could have turned out much differently.
I was born in Chicago, and from the start, my life has been rough. I was the first of seven kids in a poor, black family living in poor black neighborhoods, attending poor, black schools surrounded by gangs and a lot of people who just didn't care.
At the age of 17 I moved to Duluth to live with my aunt. It was here that I discovered the Washington Center and Neighborhood Youth Services (NYS), and it was one of the first times I saw an opportunity for change.
As one of the programs operated by Woodland Hills, NYS was a place that really stood out for me. It was the first time I was introduced into a completely positive environment. The mentors and staff at NYS were adults who I could look up to and who looked out for the youth---not only inside the youth center but outside as well during our everyday lives.
To be honest, if it wasn't for NYS, I would have been out on the street getting into all sorts of trouble. The people in the program were living examples who showed that despite your surroundings or your origin, you can have a positive life and do positive things.
Now I have been given the opportunity to be a role model to the next generation by passing on the things I've learned, and more importantly, by just being there for the kids. Through volunteer work and work study, I've been given a chance to be a positive adult figure to kids at NYS can trust and depend on. I've been given a chance to give back to those who have given to me.
In life, there are a great number of influences that shape who we are. My experience at NYS is one thing that has helped shape who I am today.
From YIPA member, La Oportunidad, Inc.:
Zuleyma was referred to the Chicas Fuertes Diversion program because she was experiencing truancy issues. Zuleyma was missing many classes and did not have good attendance. She was sent to the Chicas Fuertes program in an attempt to divert going to court, and to assess what was causing this behavior/these absences, in order to improve her attendance. Zuleyma has been in group for six months, and will successfully graduate this month. During her time in the program, she opened up in group and proved her determination to be responsible and trustworthy for her family. She wanted to improve her attendance, grades, and relationship with her mother, specifically in the area of trust. Among many accomplishments the past 6 months, perhaps the biggest is her attendance; she now has perfect attendance. She no longer misses any classes, makes her own decisions instead of having her friends influence her decisions, and has worked hard to gain back her mother's trust. In addition to attending groups, she has enjoyed doing community service at a local school during their family nights, and is applying for a professional summer job program as a step towards her college and professional goals. Zuleyma is an exemplary young woman and I am very proud of her.
From YIPA member, Resource, Inc., Employment Action Center:
This summer ago a young women came into the YIP program as a walk in. She was 17 years old and had recently been kicked out of her home. She was attending school, but needed help finding employment. The first thing I did for this young lady was to help her find a place to stay. We spoke with her cousin who agreed to let her stay at his house for the time being. Since that time, this young lady has found employment--she actually had two jobs during the summer, but one now that school has started--and most recently has gotten her own apartment which will be furnished through Bridging. She is attending alternative school and will be graduating this spring.
From YIPA member, Kinship of Todd-Wadena Counties:
Christina came to Kinship of Todd-Wadena Counties in October of 2004. She was in 10th grade at the time. She had recently moved to this area to live with her dad and step mom, after living in the Twin Cities with her mom. She had only a few friends, but many of them were skipping school and getting into trouble a lot. She was having problems at home because dad's rules were different than moms, and she was having a hard time adjusting. She was suffering from depression, did not do well in school and was grounded all the time for breaking the rules. If things continued that way, it is very likely that Christina would eventually end up dropping out of school or getting in trouble with the law. Christina needed some help!
Then, in late November 2004, Christina met Vicki through Kinship of Todd-Wadena Counties and the two became fast friends. Over the course of a year, Christina's grades started to improve and she was hardly ever grounded for breaking rules. She has made many new friends due to an increase in self confidence, and often asked Vicki to hang out with them. Vicki has helped Christina get her driver's license, encouraged her to be a part of the Miss Wadena Pageant where she became First Princess, and continues to support their Kinship friendship in many ways. Christina is now working at Pizza Hut and volunteering at the local hospital. Thanks to her Kinship friend Vicki, she has plans to attend the senior prom and is planning on going into the Air Force after graduation. It has been the support of a great mentor that has helped guide Christina in the right direction of becoming a beautiful, talented and successful young woman.
According to Christina's step mom, Christina has matured a lot in the past couple years. She used to be quiet and get in trouble a lot. Now she is more outgoing and hardly ever getting in trouble. Kinship really did make a difference!
Christina also feels that her mentor Vicki has made all the difference. "She made me feel that I belong here and she helped me have fun and make new friends. I hope to be friends with Vicki forever!"
Kinship is proud of the match made between Vicki & Christina and hopes to have continued success with many more additional mentoring friendships.
From YIPA member, DARTS:
Duncan is 89 years old and has just lost his wife. A great guy who just needs his yard weeded (and some company).
Brandon, my court referred youth, is with me today. He's a good kid, just made some bad decisions. He has 60 hours of service to complete and has been slowly getting them done. He has been mostly working at homes of elderly women, to whom he is polite, but there really hasn't been much of a connection.
This a hot summer day, a kind of day when the last thing a 16 year old boy wants to do is weed. Brandon goes in with a good attitude though, knowing that he is helping out someone who has just lost a loved one. When we get to the door, a giant poodle jumps up on Brandon, and Brandon responds by grabbing a stick and throwing into the woods for the dog to fetch. Duncan approaches the door and Brandon asks about his dog. They talk for a bit about the different dogs they have each had in their life. Finally, I think to myself, Brandon has something in common with one of the seniors he's serving!
As we start weeding the garden, Duncan sits on the steps of the deck and chats with us. He tells us stories of being in WWII and how he was on a sailboat so he wouldn't be detected by submarines. He tells us he was once mayor of Sunfish Lake; he tells us the whole history of Sunfish Lake. He talks about water planes. He talks about when he was a kid and used to live in the house next door. He talks about how he raised his children and what they are doing now.
All the while Brandon is sincerely listening and interacting. Brandon talks about how he knows how to sail. He talks about how he always wanted to meet someone who lived on Sunfish Lake. He talks about working at the airport and learning about airplane engines. He talks about where he lives, and what he wants to do someday.
It was amazing to me. We got the work done, and Brandon did a very good job. He even went the extra mile on some of the projects Duncan had on his list. Most importantly, he actively listened to Duncan, and then opened up and shared his life with Duncan. They could have been two old men sitting on a porch, shooting the breeze. When we were leaving Brandon said, "Boy, I think he (Duncan), just needed to talk to someone".
That's the type of change I want to see in the youth I work with. I want them to care enough about what they are doing, and who they are doing it for, that they will be willing to sit and really listen to an old man who just needs someone to talk to. Needless to say, the rest of Brandon's community service hours were spent helping Duncan; and the connection deepened. Brandon knew he had completed some chores and his community service hours but he also realized the contribution he could make in someone's life by just being there and listening. |
